I Wish You Knew
by nodda
Summary: Rated T for language. Hitsugaya Toshiro wakes up one morning to remember someone that he had no memory of before. Who is she, and what is it that she wants? And what is this mysterious illness that is sweeping throughout Soul Society? HitsugayaXOC HIATUS
1. XxWHo aRe YouxX

**A/N:**This is my first fanfic… and I don't know ANY Japanese…besides the Japanese that I learned from anime. This story takes place before Hinamori became fukutaichou a.k.a. vice captain of the 5th squadron. Also, this has NOTHING to do with Bleach's new movie : The Diamond Dust Rebellion. I came up with the idea for this story myself, BEFORE I saw the spoilers for the movie in the opening.

**WARNING**: This fanfiction may contain spoliers for those of you who do not read the Bleach manga.

**Disclaimer:** I do know not own Bleach. Bleach is © Kubo Tite

* * *

"**i WiSH You KNeW**"

_FLaSHBaCK_

A young Hitsugaya Toshiro, was sitting on the steps of his home in West Rukongai, bored. Hinamori was at shinigami school and he hadn't found anything to do. Suddenly, a leather ball came flying towards him. Before he could react, the ball hit him square in the face and rebounded backwards, dazed, he looked in the direction from which the ball had come from. A girl about 60cm (2 feet) taller than him emerged from behind a building. At first, only her head peeked out, but when she saw that she'd only hit a small, silver-haired boy her with ball, she headed towards him. The silver-haired boy with a tense and reddening face glared at her, with a stare that made him famous for being "as cold as ice". A vein in his head stuck out and pulsed. Grimacing while she apologized, she introduced herself apologetically. When she asked for his name, he answered brattily, "None of your business," instantly regretting it as the girl walked away, smirking and muttering about little white-haired idiots. The young Hitsugaya Toushiro's eyes blazed, but decided at the last minute not to say anything.

_eND FLaSHBack_

* * *

_HiTSuGaYa-TaiCHou'S P.o.V  
_

_Who was she?_ The small captain rubbed his clear aquamarine eyes and started to climb out of his futon. For some odd reason, he couldn't remember the girl, even though he had just seen her in his dream. Hitsugaya's perked up at the smell of smoke and lightly seasoned meat and vegetables, forgetting the girl and working on getting ready for breakfast. Dressing silently, he heard someone knock on his door to his apartment. Just as he finished dressing, Matsumoto Rangiku decided that it would be nice to bother her captain. "What do you want," Hitsugaya asked, yawning a little bit and giving her the same cold stare that he'd given the girl with the leather ball in his dream. Ignoring him, while turning around to face his window, Matsumoto asked, inconspicuously, " So, why don't you go down to 5th squad anymore. Do you not like Hinamori anymore or something?" A playful smirk came across her face as she said her last sentence. A vein popped out of Hitsugaya's face and began to pulse. "FOR THE **LAST** TIME, MATSUMOTO, I DON'T HAVE A CRUSH ON HINAMORI!" He shouted at his vice-captain, fuming and crossing his arms. All of Soul Society must have heard him. With a glint in her eyes, Matsumoto said, "Then who **was** it that you went there for? Certainly, you didn't go for Aizen." With a huge sigh, the captain said, even more tense with veins popping out all over his face, "Get...out..Matsumoto...**NOW**!"

* * *

_MaTSuMoTo-FuKuTaiCHou'S PoV _

Most of the females from their squad had gathered around the captain's apartment, when they heard their captain shout, they flinched and stared at Matsumoto wide-eyed when she came out. With a smirk, Matsumoto let herself out and glanced at the ladies."You all owe me drinks," She said, while thinking, _He's still just like ice, that is, if not colder. And yet... there are things about him that no one can even try to understand. _She began to walk purposefully towards the headquarters of her division.The lieutenant remembered when and where she had met her captain. That strange day when she had literally bumped into him. She chortled a little bit, recalling the expression on his face as he sank to the ground. But, when she recalled the events that occurred afterwards, she had a thoughtful expression. Finding him sleeping on his futon next to his grandmother, who had basically frozen and noticing that his reiatsu(spiritual energy) had leaked just about everywhere had surprised her. Who knew that such a power could be contained in one so small? By the time that she had finished these thoughts, she was already at her desk and absentmindedly doodling nonexistent characters into the paper. "Oopsies." She thought, staring at the paper, which had ink all over its middle. She would have to request copies of that paper. Then, she looked at her arms. Before beginning her paperwork, she had rolled up her sleeves, but in the process of "doing paperwork" Matsumoto had gotten ink all over her arms. Frowning, the vice captain went off to change into a new robe and perhaps catch a drink or two...maybe three.

* * *

_HiTSuGaYa-TaiCHou'S PoV_

Just after Matsumoto had left the building, Hitsugaya-taichou came to the team's headquarters to get started on his paperwork for the day. He turned his head briefly to notice that Matsumoto _still_ wasn't at her desk, _ Why is it that I had to get stuck with that lazy woman?_ He sighed heavily and walked up to his desk, where there was still paperwork from the day before. in the middle of straightening his papers, the young captain began to do something that was most unlike him. He began to daydream. It was only a little bit at first, but as he sat down with his pen in hand, his eyes drifted upward and his eyes became the color of clear ice. "Again?" He muttered questioningly, as he began to be pulled down into "the plane of ice".

* * *

_MaTSuMoTo-FuKu-TaiCHou'S PoV _

After talking and drinking with some subordinates, Matsumoto came into "HQ", waiting for her captain to yell at her for being late, drinking, and not doing her paperwork, like he did almost everyday. But, there was still silence, other than a rustling of paper that came from a breeze. The room was strangely cold, and she could see her breath in front of her face. _What's...happening? _ Running, she came up to her captain's desk, knocking over piles of papers until she found her young captain, pale and colder than ice. Her panicked eyes told her that her captain was laying face down on his desk, sleeping, but Matsumoto knew better. She pulled his body up into his chair and barked an order to a subordinate that was passing by. "Get 4th squad here, immediately!" Panicked, the subordinate obeyed, seeing Matsumoto pull the young captain up and over her shoulder. This is just like...that night. A very tender and saddened look came upon her face as Unohana-taichou herself came to see what had happened. "Hmm...I hadn't expected this to happen ever again," she said in her quiet, polite manner. "hopefully, for him, this will be the last time." She released her zanpactou into its Bankai stage and allowed him to swallow Hitsugaya. "Matsumoto-fukutaichou, you'd better get started on your paperwork," she said, grimacing, "if I was your taichou, I wouldn't like to come back from being away, then have to do a weeks worth of paperwork." The captain proceeded to her bankai, stepping into its mouth.

"Take care, fukutaichou,"

"Hai, Unohana-taichou!"

* * *

_HiTSuGaYa-TaiCHou's PLaNe of iCe_

A strange chill went down the young captain's back as he began to walk in the plane of ice. His appearance was in the same form as he had been when he had first met Hyourinmaru. He saw Hyourinmaru, flapping his great wings and fighting against a flying phoenix. "MARU!" cried Hitsugaya as he watched the two fly into the air, battering one another with their wings and shooting fire and ice at one another. "And fire and ice collide." a clearly feminine voice said, behind him. Whisking around to face the stranger, he recognized her instantly. It was the girl from his dream. Was it a dream? Was this encounter a dream? "Hello Hitsugaya-san," said the strange girl. She raised her chin in greeting, and Hitsugaya Toushiro began to notice more about her appearance. She was relatively skinny, with a shinigami robe on the girls obi was also maroon. Her free-flowing black hair had the same color of maroon highlights. The girl's eyes were also black like coals with a hint of red near her pupils, so that it looked as if she had fire in them. _Is this girl obsessed with maroon or something?_ "We haven't talked for a while." She said, walking up to him and raising his chin to look at his face. Indignantly, the young Hitsugaya smacked her hand away and asked, "Who are you, and why are you here?!"

"Hm, it's funny that you ask those questions, we used to be such great friends."

"Just answer the questions, dumbass."

The girl tutted and said, "You still have attitude issues, but I might tell you later if you're good."

"Why do you have to be so fucking stubborn?!"

"Why can't you remember?"

"Why do you act like I know you?!"

"Just because you do, Shorty-san, now I think it's about time that you go back into Soul Society. Some of your friends are getting pretty worried about you."

"Wait, tell me!" Came Hitsugaya's response as he felt himself draw away from the plane of ice.

"If you're as smart as they say you are, you'll find out soon enough." the girl said faintly as Hitsugaya's mind came back to his body.

"You're such a bitch!" he said, his lips moving, but no sound going towards the girl.

* * *

_HiTSuGaYa-TaiCHou'S P.o.V_

"I beg your pardon," Unohana-taichou said to Hitsugaya, when he finally became conscious again.

Groggily, Hitsugaya-taichou became aware of a faintly beeping noise and a dim light. "I'm in the infirmary?" He asked, slowly trying to sit up. His muscles collapsed as he got one-eighth of the way up. He laid in a room half-filled with get well flowers and gifts. There was all kinds of food everywhere and plants lined the windows, as well as the edge of his bed.

"As you've just experienced, it wouldn't be wise to move very much."

"Why am I in here?"

"You're in here because in the middle of doing paperwork, you fell into your inner world." said the fourth division captain, in the middle of cleansing Hitsugaya's covers.

His eyes opened slowly and closed back instantly, and as if they hadn't seen light for days, they began to hurt and everything seemed impossibly bright. Hitsugaya sniffed the air to catch the scent of antiseptics and "Ugh, how long have I been out?"

"You've been unconscious for roughly about a week."

"A...week," he repeated after the medical division captain. The same icy look came to his eyes as he thought about the stranger he had "met" in his unconscious state. _A week is a long time. I wonder how much paperwork I'll have to do when I get back to H.Q._

Answering what Hitsugaya's thoughts, Unohana-taichou said, "While you've been gone, Matsumoto has been doing paperwork, isn't it so unlike her?"

"Matsumoto is doing paperwork?!" Appalled, the young captains eyes opened wide, against his body's protest and he sat straight up, proceeding in throwing up again. _But then again, it gives me some time to research._

"Yes, it surprised me too." she said, walking over to some other patients, who had been challenged by Kenpachi, the poor fellows. An unnatural breeze came by, as Hitsugaya Toshiro, shunpoed to his division, ignoring the queasy feelings in his stomach. Unohana-taichou shook her head and sighed. She expected to be seeing Hitsugaya Toushiro shortly, anyways.

* * *

_MaTSuMoTo-FuKuTaiCHou's P.o.V _

Extremely bored and aching for her work to be done, Matsumoto stood up behind small piles of paper that she had finished doing and started to get out of her chair."This is so tiring," she muttered to herself, standing up breifly to stretch and crack her neck. The young woman's eyes opened wide as she felt her captain's spiritual power. _So he's alright, after all._ Matsumoto had been so worried about him.As the wave of relief came over her, she suddenly remembered that he shouldn't be out of bed for a while. It was the exact reason why she was stuck at a desk, doing this stupid paperwork. She frowned slighlty, and went off into Soul Society to search for her captain.

* * *

_HiTSuGaYa-TaiCHou's P.o.V. _

Roughly about 10 seconds after he left the infirmary, Hitsugaya felt extremely tired. His muscles were cramped, and he felt...sick, he began to cough uncontrollably. After another 10 seconds, he felt an extremely cold chill phase through his body, and then shortly afterwards, he was burning hot. By now, his cough had gotten much worse, and he was coughing up blood. Suddenly, his vision blurred, and he was in a state in between consciousness and unconsciousness. Despite his efforts to remain conscious, he passed out, just before he had gotten to the Hall of Records. Vaugely, before he passed out, he saw a person with an hour glass-shaped body pass by him. A splash of color came flying after her, and he muttered, "Matsumoto," then, he became unconscious.

* * *

_MaTSuMoTo-FuKuTaiCHou's P.o.V._

A person whispering her name's voice came to her ears. She'd recognized it instantly_, Taichou!_ Whirling around, she expected to see her captain, standing in front of her, looking stern, but to her surprise, he was on the ground, unconscious. "**Taichou," ** She cried out, running towards him and seeing that he was still in his hospital robe, with blood all over his face and mouth. She touched his extremely pale face and felt his temperature fluctuating in between hot and cold, but never a temperature in between. She picked the small captain up and started running to the infirmary.

* * *


	2. xXHowCanThisBeXx

**A/N:** Thanks for reviewing! xD I was thinking that I'd get a bit more criticism because I convinced myself that I sucked at writing...Oh crap...I'm such a retard...Uh..."Plane of Ice" in my last chapter was supposed to be Plain of Ice.

**Disclaimer:** I do know own Bleach or any of its characters, items, or settings. Bleach is © Kubo Tite.

* * *

**"xXHoW.CaN.THiS.BeXx"**

_HiTSuGaYa-TaiCHou'S PLaiN oF iCe_

"Hmf, I'll assume that you don't like hospitals very much."

The clear voice came out of no where, surprising Hitsugaya Toshiro. For some strange reason, it sounded familiar. Then, it hit him. He was back on the plane of ice, apparently, with the same maroon-haired girl who insisted that they knew each other._ I'm here again?_ The spiky-haired captain eyes snapped open, viewing all that was around him.

The voice retorted, strangely clearer, and a bit fiery_, "Yes, you retard, where do you expect you are?"_

Hitsugaya was startled he viewed the plane twice, noting that Hyourinmaru and the phoenix were still fighting, he saw her and stared in surprise, "You can hear what I'm thinking?!"

"Of course, I am part of your memory. I'm your past and your history, a part of your present being.Your memories of me are so incredibly important to your mental being."

"So you're basically saying that you were never a person, never real, never a part of my life."

"No, I'm saying that I'm just a figment of your imagination."

"Then, why is it that I remember you, somewhat?"

"Are you sure that it wasn't just a dream?"

It took a moment for Hitsugaya to think. "Yes, I'm positive."

"Then, take a look at this,"

She handed him a piece of paper that looked like a human photograph. The photo portrayed the maroon-obsessed girl smiling like a dolt ruffling Hitsugaya's hair, and Hitsugaya, annoyance written all over his face. It appeared to be the shinigami school graduating ceremony. Once he had noted everything in the picture, he looked up. "Where did you get this?" As he looked up, he saw that she wasn't there, let alone the plane of ice. he was back in another one of his memories. Although, in this case, he was merely and observer.

* * *

_FLaSHBaCK_

This particular day was nice, sunny, and a little bit hot, over all, pretty good. Snce it was hot, it meant that Hitsugaya disapproved of the day, although Hitsugaya would think of it as a special day in days to come. It was the first day that Hitsugaya had been to shinigami school, roughly about two years from the time that he saw that girl with the ball. . He still couldn't believe that he was going _here_ of all places, the place that he had teased the Bedwetter about. And most of all, he couldn't possibly imagine why he was here. The only thought driving him to stay and learn how to control his power was the fact that, if he stayed in West Rukongai, he might kill poor Granny. Granny, Hitsugaya wondered how she was and what she was doing. Surely, she was well. During the entire tour around the campus, Hitsugaya thought about her. She was so thin and frail the day the day he had left her all alone in that empty house. In the midst of thinking, young Hitsugaya Toushiro accidentally bumped into the person in front of him. Hitsugaya mumbled his apology, still thinking. The older boy murmured something to the person next to him, and walked on as if nothing had happened. He couldn't shake the foreboding feeling that coursed throughout his body, the feeling of anticipation and a slight feeling of terror. The day was unforgettable, and he'd only forget one thing in his entire time there, even though it was one of the most important things to ever happen to him in his entire lifetime. Out of all of the things that he knew that he wouldn't forget, he thought that he wouldn't forget _her_.

_eND FLaSHBaCK _

* * *

_MaTSuMoTo-FuKuTaiCHou's P.o.V_

It hadn't been long since she took her young captain to the infirmary, but she couldn't shake a foreboding feeling that ached throughout her entire being. A slight shudder escaped her body, as she contintued with paperwork. A headache threatening to split her forehead open came upon her like a rushing wave. There was a fire in her veins, her pulse quickening, and then...blackness. It was dark, unlike anything she had seen in her entire lifetime. And yet, it was so lifeless. A surge of memories hit her like a tidal wave, and she groaned in pain. The cold came again, but it couldn't stop the burning fire. Somehow, she heard a man laughing, as if he was laughing at her pain, and yet she couldn't see him, much less open her eyes. with a startling jolt, Matsumoto Ranjiku's eyes fluttered open, in complete shock. The image her eyes saw was so similar to something that she only knew of in her dreams. The fukutaichou was in a vast expanse of land, the place where she had first met Ichimaru Gin. The flood of memories proceeded to assault her, leaving her no peace. When it felt like she was just about to die, a familiar voice called out inside of her head. She identified the voice, feebly sending out a thought. _Gin._

* * *

_HiTSuGaYa-TaiCHou's P.O.V_

"He's waking up!"

"Are you serious?"

"Yes, look!"

"Oh my gawd...he's awake! Get Unohana-taichou!"

_Damn. I can't be in the hospital, again. _When he woke up, this time, he was even more disoriented than before, and cold chills inflicted his body with discomfort. Although cold didn't normally bother him, these chills were abnormal, although some may say unnatural. The feeling, it was indescribable. They left goosebumps all over his body, and in desperation to get heat himself once more again, his body began to shiver uncontrollably, making him have strange, uncontrollable spasms.

The members of fourth squad, that were taking care of him started to panic. They'd never seen anything like it before. The young captain appeared to be having some sort of seizure, that was about to turn into an epidemic was unlike anything that they had ever seen before.

* * *

_HiTSuGaYa-TaiCHou's PLaNe oF iCe_

It was hard to control his anger, even inside of his own mind, with basically himself and his memories. Go figure. Hitsugaya Toushiro muttered a few choice words. Why was it that he couldn't stay in _any_ world for more than what seemed like 5 minutes? Talk about a huge change in settings. Another voice had joined the area in his head. "He's back, again." a bored voice said from the area around him. "Two's company, and three's a crowd, what do you want?" He asked crabbily, not really caring about who it was. Gawd, the short captain was going a bit more than a little crazy. Perhaps, the next time that he woke up, he'd be in "the loony bin", dressed in a strait jacket, and having the time of his life in a tiny, white, padded cell. Wouldn't that be fun?

"Someone." It sounded as if the bored voice was smirking.

In an attempt to see where the voice was coming from, Hitsugaya found that he couldn't see, or rather, someone had "turned the lights out" in his mind. "What's going on?" He panicked a bit, after all, if you seemed to be slowly dying, lights going out in your mind aren't a very good sign.

"Nothing much, your mind is trying to process information that was, "locked up in a drawer, per se."

"That makes a lot of sense." Hitsugaya scoffed. This conversation was going absolutely no where. The sound of fire and ice meeting no longer reached his ears, although he hadn't noticed it before.

The bored voice became cheerful, suddenly, "Ah, it seems that she's done."

"What do you mean?"

"You'll see. It might take a bit to process your memories, though." The voice was getting fainter, as if it was going away. Would he ever understand what the voice meant?

* * *

_HiTSuGaYa-TaiCHou's P.o.V. _

He could hear a faintly beeping sound nearby him. The needle from his IV drip hurt a bit. If only he could wiggle it out and stop the pain... His eyes opened for the first time in weeks. The light was off, and Hitsugaya's eyes adjusted. It took a moment, before he realized how weak he felt. It was almost a good excuse to go back to sleep, and hopefully, never have to wake up again. _Almost._ With stubbornness that seemed hardly his own, he began to sit up. He could hear footsteps, and someone muttering to themselves...(_to be continued)  
_

* * *

Yes, I know that this is a painfully short chapter. -makes a sad face- With school and such, I haven't had very much time to update, rewrite, and review. -apologizes- The next chapter will, _hopefully,_be longer and better. 

Note: The bored voice is really nothing that matters in the story. Don't worry about it.

* * *


End file.
